Although every starlet and their brother (and mother, and second cousin) seem to be launching new celebrity designer clothing lines, what a lot of them are REALLY good at is getting caught in a designer wardrobe malfunction.
We divided our NipSlip Awards into several categories.
The “Seriously Oops” NipSlip Award
The nominees are…
These are the unfortunates that we wouldn’t suspect of letting it hang all out as a promotional stunt, but seem to have genuinely been caught unawares.
Katie Holmes thinks she’s safe from the paparazzis… BZZZT. Christina Milian on the other hand is being extra friendly to the paps. Eva Mendes has somebody warning her, but she’s not quite sure what the warning is about. Therefore the winner is… Christina Milian!
The “Paris vs Mischa” NipSlip Award
We name this award as it is because we only have 2 nominees: Paris Hilton and Mischa Barton, who are two of the most ‘exposed’ celebrities in Tinsel Town.
They have soooo many wardrobe malfunctions that makes us wonder why Paris even has a clothing line, but tells us why Mischa only designs headbands.
However, we think Paris Hilton should win this award because all nipple slips aside, she always has that smile on her face.
The “Baywatch NipSlip Award”
The Nominees are…
…Anna Lynn McCord and Halle Berry! As a tribute to the classic Baywatch “run”, we think a jiggly nipple slip is best honored to our best runner/slipper. We don’t wanna play favorites, but she is indeed the sexiest woman alive, therefore Halle Berry wins this.
The “It’s Way Too Cold In Here” NipSlip Award
Our nominees are…
…supermodel Devon Aoki and super duper model, Naomi Campbell. Naomi takes it, because we’re afraid of what she might do to us if we don’t let her win.
The “Bikini Slip Extraordinaire” NipSlip Award
Our nominees are…
…actress Kirsten Dunst, because her bikini slip is downright redonculous. Celebrity designer / model, Kate Moss is ergh… flat but slippin’ and Courteney Cox Arquette, who’s since learned to wear a one-piece when swimming with her kid, the hard way.
And because she had some assistance, we feel obliged to give the honors to Courteney Cox Arquette!
The “My Eyes are Melting” NipSlip Award
Our nominees are…
…Amy Winehouse (eeeewwwww!), Mrs. Ice-T aka Coco and Foxy Brown. Errr… note to Coco and Foxy, finding clothes that actually fit might do the trick.
And the the winner is Amy Winehouse! Please, please put it back.
The “I’m So Into My Performance I Didn’t Know What’s Trying To Get Out” NipSlip Award
Our nominees are…
Here we have Foxy Brown and Ashanti going tip to tip. Foxy love, that Herve Leger dress betrayed you. But in a good way. Ashanti, you are looking FIERCE, like “WHAT I know it’s showing, SO.”
As much as we love Ashanti, we gotta give it up to Foxy Brown!
The “Not Enough Scotch Tape” NipSlip Award
Our nominees are…
…Demi Moore -who might have yelled at her stylist just a little. Beyonce who might have discovered what’s going on, Gwen Stefani who we hope isn’t wearing her own design… and Kiera Knightley who focuses on her pout but forgets her nipple. And the winner is… Demi Moore!
The “Does She Do It On Purpose?” NipSlip Award
Our nominees are…
…Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears. We know Britney can be a trainwreck when it comes to clothes, so we forgive her. But Jessica Simpson’s nipple slips look well-prepped, part of her outfit even. So the winner is… Jessica Simpson!
The “Legendary Boob Slip” NipSlip Award
Also known as the “Overrated Fake Fashion Faux-Pas” Honor, we have the famous 2004 Superbowl incident… Janet Jackson. We feel it’s the mother of all nipple slip and although it’s been a long time, let’s take a slip down memory way on the original “wardrobe malfunction”.
We never bought this as an accident. Janet’s boob is saying WHAT UP Y’ALL CHECK ME OUT. It’s got its own outfit on. Good lord.
And so that concludes our Celebrity NipSlip Awards for the 21st century. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
